A month and a half has been gone after I took my last exam on my major subject on the second semester of the academic year 2012-2013 at the Pontifical and Royal University of Santo Tomas. Hell yeah! One year down, three more to go. I survived the 10 independent months, full of aspirations along with distractions and frustrations, success despite the hindrances, and perseverance together with faith and inspiration. With those strenuous but wonderful months, smile, tears, sweat, wrinkles (not totally but I had because I was stressed), and eye bags (definitely due to lack of sleep) have appeared on my face.
Grades have been viewed on the portal and results were released. Disappointment came to my life. But to make it clear, I've got no tres and singko. The number of uno was lessened and consequently, the twos increased. I've failed many people. I thought I've done better than what I did during the first semester but I was totally wrong. I thought my capabilities were enough but they weren't yet. Expectations really hurt but it taught me to go beyond. I have to strive more, work harder, and do better. Nothing comes easy, right? And I believe that behind every success, there's always a story to tell. I am ready to start all over again and gonna make things right and will play with words once more and write the story of my own voyage that would be told to the next generations and would inspire them to dream on and make their goals happen.
Though that failure challenged my persistence, I will never give up. I admit it also took me weeks to recover from that. But now, I realized that a single defeat in my life won't break me, instead it would help me to achieve who I want to be in the years to come.
A big thank you to my ever supportive family and friends (to my Mom and Dad, Ate Iya and Ate Egi, Ate Arvi, Kuya JanB, Kuya JC, Ate Maj, Marella, Alitch, and to Ma'am A) for cheering me up when I was down and for still believing in me that I will accomplish it next year. Above all, thank you so much to the Lord, our God for such opportunity and for lighting up my mind when I was in doubt of myself.
***
While resting on my bed last Tuesday morning, I saw this small wooden box and it was like a like a treasure box. Actually, that box really contains my personal treasure. Medals inside made me think of the past, my achievements and awards before. I suddenly asked myself, "Am I contented with what I had and with what I have today?" Definitely not! What I've always wanted is to make my parents proud and to fulfill my promise to them. And if I would continue what I did on my freshman year, I don't think that I can hold my words I've said to them. Therefore, I realized that I have to study harder and to know and set my priorities. I need to be more driven and believe in what I can do and make life-changing decisions that would truly test my character.
I've done it when I was in grade school and high school. I have faith in myself and in God that I can still do it this time. Comebacks are never easy but I will make one.
***
There's this guy whom I'm always eager to see. My eyes have been looking for him since October 2011, I think. More than a year and and a half passed since he caught my attention, until now he still does. He is tall enough (estimatedly 5'9-5'10 tall) and 'singkit', wears eyeglasses, has fair complexion, and shows a sweet smile but he is definitely 'suplado'. This is how I can describe him every time there's a chance for observation. We're of the same age too. But this guy has already made a decision. He chose the path to serve God above all. I would rather not mention his name to avoid, hmmm, (what should I call that?), intrigues. Maybe, oh maybe, I don't know what I should do. I'm just confused. When I told my story to my friends, they said he might not pursue that path since he's still young. He might change his plans. But I don't think he'll do what they said. He's just so persistent. He knows what he does. Although I'm seeing you from a distance, you've captured not only my eyes but also my heart. (Sorry, it's kinda cliche but that happened to me.) Unfortunately, I just can't stop thinking of you. You're a one-of-a-kind guy who is so difficult to find. I wish you knew all of this but I don't have enough courage to tell you so. And I'm wishing you all the best that life would offer you. If God would let us to see each other once more, that would be the time I would do something crazy. That's what we call 'fate'.
No comments:
Post a Comment